Making Space (in real life)

Sometimes things get cramped up, squished down and compacted. Sometimes it feels like there isn't enough room, or time, or space or even air. Sometimes it is 3am and your baby is screaming and your other child is puking all over your new shoes. Sometimes your life is so full of to do lists and things on the calendar -for the kids- that you aren't sure if you are even there. Sometimes you are surrounded by dirty laundry and just can not connect with your partner or your kids. Sometimes becoming a mother takes who you thought you were and twists you in knots and spits you out and you just aren't sure anymore. Sometimes you yell at your kids, even though you REALLY don't want to because in the moment it just happens- you don't feel like you have any other options.

I have been there too. It is hard.

But sometimes I remember to breathe. To stop. And breathe. And make some space. For myself and for what is going on inside of me. To make space for feelings of failure or despair or confusion or fear or joy or delight.

If you have been a client of mine you know that my favorite phrase when some emotion or experience or memory surfaces, pleasant or not, is, "can you make some space for that?" It is sort of incredible what that shift can bring. To imagine making some space from the inside. To push out or spread out or expand.

In making the choice to make space you are choosing to be present with what is happening right now. In Hakomi, when we do this in a mindful way, we uncover amazing realizations about what is going on with us- just under the surface.

This is NOT an easy skill to learn. Our brain has established very well worn paths of reactions that are habitual and protective. But, with practice and intention, we can learn to do this. Every time we make the choice to stop, and breathe, and make space, we begin creating a new pathway that offers new and nourishing possibilities.